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The Role of the Wife
Last week we looked at the role of the husband. Anyone want to guess what we will look at today? Yes—the role of the wife. Smart crowd!
Guys, check out this verse:
Proverbs 18:22
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
Can I get an Amen?
An Opening Story
A couple was preparing to take a beach vacation in California.
The wife had something come up at work on the day of their departure. After some thought, the couple decided the husband should go ahead and fly to their destination, and the wife would follow the next day.
The husband had a nice flight—he consumed four bags of peanuts while watching a black-and-white comedy film he remembered from his childhood. He landed in a cheerful mood, and once he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Whistling a tune, he slipped his computer out of his bag and opened his email. In his cheerful bliss, he accidentally misspelled his wife’s email address. His note was instead directed to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email the next day, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
Her family rushed in and found this note on the screen:
Hey honey, just got checked in. Everything’s ready for your arrival tomorrow. See you soon. Love, Your charming husband.
P.S. It’s blazing hot here, so make sure you bring some summer clothes.
Five Elements of the Role of the Wife
1. The Foundation: Her Creation
Genesis 2:18–22
“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky… But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”
So, what do we learn from this passage?
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Man was made from dirt.
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Woman was made from man’s rib.
This explains why men love ribs, right?
Genesis 2:23
“The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’”
Marriage is the joining of two into one flesh. Divorce feels like being torn apart because God’s design for the family is unity.
2. Submission
Ephesians 5:22–24
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Our culture calls submission a bad word, but biblically, submission is a virtue.
“Biblical submission is about humbly, gratefully fulfilling our God-ordained roles within a hierarchy of authority as part of the awesome privilege of glorifying God in the world.” — Got Questions
And don’t miss the verse right before:
Ephesians 5:21
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Submission is not a weapon or a power struggle. It is voluntary, respectful yielding that reflects Christ and His church.
3. Love & Respect
1 Peter 3:1–6 (WE)
“Wives, respect and obey your husbands in the same way. Then the husbands who do not obey the word of God will want to know God… They will see that you live holy lives and respect your husbands… Have a heart that is gentle and quiet… God thinks it is worth very much… Sarah obeyed Abraham. She called him her master. You are her children if you do what is right and are not afraid of trouble.”
Two keys for wives:
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Inner beauty matters most. Focus on a gentle, quiet spirit that honors God.
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Respect is the key. Just as men are commanded to love unconditionally, women are called to respect unconditionally.
Marriage works like a cycle of love and respect. If one side stops, the cycle breaks.
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Men: if you don’t feel respect, don’t stop loving.
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Women: if you don’t feel loved, don’t stop respecting.
4. The Place of Intimacy
1 Corinthians 7:2–5
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband… Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you…”
Sex is God’s good gift. Misunderstanding or neglecting intimacy is one of the leading causes of divorce.
Paul emphasizes:
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Fulfill marital duty.
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Your body is not your own.
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Do not deprive each other.
Intimacy is about selflessness, not selfishness. Even small gestures like kissing and holding hands may need to be relearned when intimacy has been strained.
And for the singles:
1 Corinthians 7:7
“I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”
Singleness is a gift. Paul used his singleness to focus fully on Christ.
5. The Virtuous Wife
Proverbs 31:10
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
Whether married or single, a woman of noble character is priceless.
Proverbs 31:11–31 describes her:
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Trustworthy, hardworking, wise, generous.
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Strong, dignified, fearless of the future.
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Praised by her children and husband.
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Above all, she fears the Lord.
Proverbs 31:30
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Closing Question
Will you be this woman?