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The Role of the Husband

All of the tools we have here are saws, but not every saw works for every cutting job. Each saw has a unique purpose. Ask any handyman—if you want to do the job right, you need the right tool.

The same is true in marriage. There are plenty of “tools” and ideas out there, but the real owner’s manual is the Bible.

Over the next five weeks, we’ll be looking at what God’s Word says about marriage. These principles aren’t just for those who are married—they are truths from Scripture that meet each one of us right where we live.

Now, I have to be honest. Who am I to bring this series? I’m far from perfect. I’ve made more than my share of mistakes. One of my guiding principles has been to never make the same mistake twice—and that has helped me—but I still fail. Satan reminds me of that daily.

So, I’ve asked the only perfect husband to bring these messages. His name is Jesus. He has agreed to send His Spirit to speak to us through His Word over these next several weeks—if we let Him.

You see, the only perfect husband is Jesus. Some of you ladies might be nodding in agreement—but before we get too proud, remember this: even the bride of Christ is imperfect.

The Challenge of Marriage

Let’s start by looking at five of the main reasons for divorce:

1. Lack of family support

2. Lack of love or intimacy

3. Unrealistic expectations

4. Communication problems and constant arguing

5. Financial struggles

Over the coming weeks, we’ll address each of these issues through Scripture. Today, we’ll begin with the role of the husband. But remember—whenever we study God’s Word, His truth applies to all of us.

A Light Moment

Three men were talking. Two of them were bragging about how much control they had over their wives, while the third stayed quiet. Finally, they asked him, “What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?”

The third man puffed out his chest and said, “Well, I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came crawling to me on her hands and knees.”

The others were amazed. “Wow! What happened then?”

He sighed and said, “She told me, ‘Get out from under that bed and fight like a man!’”

Guarding Our Thoughts

Think about your spouse for a moment. If your thoughts are negative, the problem isn’t with them—it’s with you.

Philippians 4:8 reminds us:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

If you focus only on the negatives, your heart will grow colder. But if you choose to think about what is good, pure, and admirable, your heart will soften, and your love will deepen. This applies to all relationships.

Ask yourself: What part of God’s image does my spouse reflect?

Why We Struggle

We hear a lot about “toxic masculinity” in our culture. But culture isn’t the root problem. Genesis 3 tells us that the fall began with Adam’s failure to fulfill the role God gave him. That failure has echoed down through history.

So, what does the Bible say about the husband’s role today?

Seven Biblical Responsibilities of a Husband

1. Love Your Wife as Christ Loves the Church

Ephesians 5:25–33 calls husbands to love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church.

Men, our one job toward our wives is to love them. But here’s the hard truth: we don’t get to judge how well we’re doing—our wives do.

Does your wife feel loved? That’s the real question. If not, we’re failing.

One way we show this love is by elevating our wives above every other earthly relationship—even our mothers. Parents, when your children marry, let them step fully into that new responsibility.

2. Lead with Wisdom and Humility

1 Corinthians 11:3 teaches that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

Too often men focus on the words, “the head of the woman is man,” but miss the point. Leadership in marriage must mirror Christ’s submission to the Father. True headship is marked by humility, obedience, and wisdom—not pride or dominance.

3. Provide for the Needs of the Home

1 Timothy 5:8 is clear:

“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Providing means meeting needs, not indulging wants. God modeled hard work in creation, and men are called to do the same.

4. Respect and Honor Your Wife

1 Peter 3:7 commands husbands to treat their wives with respect and consideration, as equal heirs of God’s gift of life.

This was revolutionary in the ancient world. True respect and honor transform marriage.

And notice the warning: if we fail to respect our wives, even our prayers will be hindered.

5. Be Faithful in All Areas

Proverbs 5:18–20 calls husbands to rejoice in the wife of their youth and remain faithful.

Faithfulness is not just physical—it includes our thoughts. Jesus said that lustful thoughts are the same as adultery in the heart. Pornography, therefore, is unfaithfulness.

6. Be Patient and Understanding

Colossians 3:19 says:

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

Harsh words and tones destroy trust and intimacy. Instead, we are called to treat our wives—and our children—with kindness and warmth.

Ask yourself: Does my wife know I love her by the way I speak and act toward her?

7. Be the Spiritual Leader of the Home

Joshua 24:15 declares:

“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Men, we are called to be priests, providers, and protectors in our homes. Will you rise to that challenge?

A Call to Action

Here at The Log Church, it’s our desire to help men grow in their role as husbands and fathers by learning to:

1. Love our wives well

2. Raise our children in the Lord

3. Sharpen one another in faith

4. Love God with all our hearts

Practical next steps:

• If you’re new to spiritual leadership at home, join Men’s Fraternity on Wednesday nights.

• If you’re facing struggles in your marriage, get connected with Re-Engage.

• If you’re already involved but want to go deeper, join a small group. Contact Pastor Mike for details.

Closing Challenge

Men, will you step into your God-given role as leaders of your homes?

Ladies, will you allow your husbands to lead with humility, love, and faithfulness?